Open Two Accounts for Your Hotel Room to Ease Your Expense Reporting Hassle

Open Two Accounts for Your Hotel Room to Ease Your Expense Reporting Hassle

So, recently, my boss and I had this conversation:

Boss:

Ken, I noticed you watched a movie in your hotel room during your stay in Chicago.

Me:

I did, I watched “Alien vs. Predator.”  It was a terrible movie, but I learned that an Alien’s jaws will penetrate a hardhat or safety helmet, that was pretty cool.

Boss:

Movies aren’t expensible.

Me:

I’m sorry, but according to the company policy, they are expensible.

Boss:

Well, my policy is to increase the bottom line and as long as you work for me, you won’t expense movies.

Me:

I hope an Alien eats your kid.

Boss:

What was that?

Me:

I said, “I’m off to copy and resubmit!”

Boss:

Good, good.  I don’t care if you do bring in $50,000 worth of revenue every week; $13.99 is too much to waste on a movie.  You should sit in your hotel room and eat rice cakes every night.  I remember once when I was a green sub-adult like you, I could go a week on the company dime without food or water for a month  or more…

*sigh* Traveling sure isn’t what it used to be.  The “generous expense account” is a thing of the past.  If you work for a company like mine, separating and sorting your incidental hotel expenses away from the room rate and taxes is a tricky and unnecessarily ridiculous thing to have to do.  It has gotten to the point where I would rather avoid a hotel restaurant completely than charge a meal to my room. 

Here’s a trick that will help.  When you check in, give the desk clerk two credit cards.  Heck, give her three!  You can open as many accounts with the hotel as you like.  Then tell the desk clerk, “Please charge movies and souvenirs to this card, room rate and taxes to this card, and meals, laundry, and business center expenses to this one.”  When you check out, you’ll have three different folios, and they’ll each be itemized for your own personal use or for expensing.  Bang, no more stupid spreadsheets to complete on the plane trip home!

This little tip is not without risk however, you must be diligent with the desk clerk.  For example, the clerk at the J.W. Marriott in San Francisco this last week was quick to open an incidental account for me, but at checkout time she lost the folio with the room rates on it.  I was presented with a bill for $14.33 for the entire week… I talked to the desk manager and he was able to find the other folio for $1,498.  When I got home, I logged in and completed my expense report (quickly, since I didn’t have to separate and itemize the bill) and that was that.  Or so I thought…

I checked the balance of my Marriott Rewards account today and learned that they only credited my account with the points from the movie!  “What?” I thought, “I stayed a week in a frickin J.W. Marriott and I only got 146 points??”  So, I called Mr. Michael Wlodkowski, the site manager for that hotel (He must hate me.  This is the same hotel with the crazed Japanese turn down service lady that sneaks into your room after 10pm to wake you up for some chocolate… we’ve spoken before). 

“Hi Mike, it’s me, Ken Walker.” 

(Audible sigh) 

“Yea your desk clerk only submitted 146 points for my stay last week.  Any idea what happened?”

“I’ll look into it.”  (Another sigh)

It turns out, she opened the accounts for me, but she failed to apply my Marriott Rewards credentials to the new account!  Make sure you ask the desk clerk, “Oh, can you make sure my Hilton/Hyatt/Marriott points account number is on this new account as well?”

OH, and you should avoid the Alien/Predator movie.  It was truly awful.  

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